I knew it had been a bad idea when I opened the kitchen cabinet and an empty space stared at me where I had stashed the 96 cans of cat food I had bought on sale just before I left for Italy.

My fears were confirmed when Kippy and Gingitt waddled into the kitchen.

Reason #1: Your ex may be trying to be super nice to you to compensate for how horrid he had been in the past. He would therefore overfeed your cats while cat sitting them. The result is, where you once had six cats, you now own six plump furry pillows with cute cat ears and a tail, tossed here and there throughout the house. Come to think of it, it’s not such a bad idea to convert cats to pillows: they’re cute pillows, warm in the winter, and self-cleaning. Two drawbacks however are that they aren’t always where you want them to be (like on the couch) and that they tend to squeal when sat upon.

An alternative explanations is that your ex may be trying to be super nice to you because he’s always been a super nice person. In that case, two questions must be raised. One, you could have anticipated the results, so why ask him to cat sit in the first place?  And the second and more critical question, if he was always so nice, why did you make him your ex?